Yesterday was May 4th, I got 6 text messages that said, May the fourth be with you. Get it, like Star Wars.
A senator in Missouri is now trying to ban all the erotic services ads on Craigslist. He says that with the Mass. killings, services that are illegal should be banned from the site. I have two complaints. First and most importantly, where am I going to go for my prostitutes now? Brooklyn? That doesn’t seem as fun, it’s not as “spur of the moment.” Secondly, Craigslist is still where I buy all my illegal drugs and i’ve never had an incident, well excluding the time I was held up at gun point but a four foot tall man wearing knee high boots…. Speaking of buying drugs on craigslist, you should rethink buying a “care bear” off of “the list,” because it’s really an 8 ball of coke….. Speaking of drugs (again with the transitions) a 20 year old British women is being tried in Laos right now for smuggling in a kilo of heroin. Laos is a very passive country with pretty forgiving laws, she is facing death by a firing squad. The plot thickens even more as she was raped and knocked up in prison, presumably by a guard. No word on whether or not the unborn child is getting a seperate trial. Some schools are giving kids a mandatory week off if they get flu like symptoms, in hopes to stop a possibly swine flu outbreak. Man it would be awesome if work would do the same. Oh also, PETA or some equally bat shit crazy organization, has come out and spoken in defense of pigs. It is no longer p.c. to say “swine flu,” it is now to be referred to as H1N1. Obviously we wouldn’t want to upset any animals that roll around in their own urine and feces. Furthermore, they can’t understand a god damn word we’re saying anyway. F’ing Peta. The funniest story i’ve read in a long time. I don’t even have anything witty or moderately amusing to add. Just read it. www.bnd.com/breaking_news/story/755653.html Some religious nut job sued his high school history teacher after the teacher referred to creationism as “superstitious nonsense.” The student was not seeking any monetary damages, surprisingly, he just wanted to tie up the court system from actually doing something worth while. Kid, dinosaurs really did exist, it’s not an elaborate hoax to get you to question god. Sarah Palin’s fucking retarded, legally, and finally you’re an idiot. Grow up and stop worrying what everyone around you is saying. If you really believe in something then believe in it. Not everyone is going to agree with you though, but you’re job isn’t to convience them to believe, your job is to have faith in the thing you believe in. Also not everyone has to agree with you. This is a democratic country and for some reason we still believe that we have to cater to the dissenting opinion as much as the popular one. Dumb. Item to Review: I promised you a Wolverine review, and unfortunately, i’m kinda on the fence about it. I was hoping this movie would be thought provoking and fresh but it’s just more of the same. It’s a mindless action summer blockbuster so if you’re in the mood, go check it out. If you want something a little wittier, rent Let the Right one In. Ya herd……………… stiefmo@Hotmail.com Much Love CoTy.