At Least I’m Known for Something!
I mean I hate twitter, but man it just breeds the most entertaining things. Why are people in crisis going to twitter for help? And more importantly, why are people actually providing help? Oh well. Check out the obviously drunken rant Lindsay Lohan’s mom went on last night at like 2 am after she only received 2 towels in her hotel room. “I Need this situation rectified immediately. Will someone that can get in contact with housekeeping tell them?” “This is not appropriate I need assistance immediately. Someone please get a hold of housekeeping for me. I am being ignored and discriminated (against) once again! Someone please help.” Her next posting reveals the housekeeper delivered the towels to her room as requested, but alleges the woman swore and threw the items at her. She writes, “I was just assaulted by housekeeping staff, she swore back at me and threw the towels at me. I am in shock I think the towels left a mark on me. I need a camera immediately to document my injuries from this reckless woman. How dare she! I am shaking. Will someone provide me with a camera?” Lohan continues, “Being held Hostage in my room, I fear the woman who assaulted me and swore back at me is in the hallway screaming in a strange language. Help. I am Shaking I need to document all of this for security I immediately require a languist (sic) to help tell me the strange language she is shouting. “I don’t condone violence but she swore back at me and Assaulted (me) with the towels am I to defend??? I would like to see you all get towels thrown violently at you and see how much it assaults you.” Notice two things, first she keeps saying she swore BACK at me. So it’s okay for a whore of a mother to swear at a person but not okay for that person to swear back? Second what marks can you get from towels? Are the Lohans so strapped for cash they have to stage an assault to sue hotels? God this family sucks so bad. Oh and as an added bonus, notice how she’s not making any sense whatsoever because she’s hammered. *Editor’s Note, I’d probably still hit it. Are you ready? Because the summer playlist will be tomorrow. Tesla Motors, named after famous inventor and electrical engineer Nikola Tesla, received a 470 million dollar grant from the United States government today to develop a battery powered sedan and the battery backs needed to charge it. God, it’s about time the US caught up to help Tesla out. They already have the Model S which is a cool whip. It gets 300 miles to the battery roughly, quick charges in 45 minutes, and will go 0-60 in like 5.67 seconds. They also have the roadster which doesn’t get quite the distance per charge, but does go from 0 to 60 in 3.5 seconds. Now, if Tesla could make a battery for my laptop, that fucker’s always dying. Now, a story that will make you want to punch something: A mother kidnapped her four year old daughter and disappeared from their Ohio home, leaving no trace of their whereabouts. Thinking this story needs a twist, here it comes. They ran away with the mother’s boyfriend, a convicted repeat sex offender who was on the run from the United States Marshalls. They were caught, thank fucking Christ, about a week later, in a trailer park in California. To subtract less intelligence from the story, the mother dyed her hair a different color as did the pedophile, you know in hopes of changing their image, but they didn’t change the blue 1980 Chevy Pickup that they drove 2,500 miles in. The pick up which was plastered on billboards was spotted across the country and reports finally caught up to the couple. Apparently the 4 year old is okay, other than being in State custody. Man this world’s rough, if a man’s gonna make it, he’s gotta be tough